Really Not Loving: Flatforms

Flatforms. Just the word makes me cringe. And the actual sight of the flatform makes me shudder. I think you will either love the flatform trend to death or hate it with a passion. I hate it with a passion to death.

They are the most unflattering, non-sexy shoe ever created. Perhaps I go too far, because Crocs fall into that very same category, along with a few other shoe horrors. I am actually surprised that Crocs haven’t done a line of flatforms. It totally figures. Perhaps I should send them an e-mail…

I am prepared to defend high-waisted or harem pants with my life (not that I’m particularly fond of either), but with flatforms, I will honestly back the men up when they look at us (being women) with confused/horrified expressions on their faces and ask “WTF are you wearing?”

I don’t care who you are, flatforms will instantly kill any sex appeal you’ve got going on. And they’ll make your feet look weirdly long.

Stop it! You’re hurting my eyes!